Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
