normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm too high and old for this...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
