Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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