WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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