Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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