I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
