i permit you to call me
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
