I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
