how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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