1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
