____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she told me i tasted like america
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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