Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My dick has a subreddit
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
