He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
