if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
