dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
