White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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