HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
