He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
