So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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