is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
