Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
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