you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
