I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
