This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
