we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
is it fun? or sober?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
