dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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