If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
