You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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