I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
