SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
