Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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