is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Someone came in the potted fern
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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