i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
