I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
This is the high leading the old right now
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
