quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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