I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
