Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I believe in your delicious
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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