She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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