Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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