What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
