You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
