Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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