Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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