The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
