You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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