Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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