it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
