Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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