my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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