you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
